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Grief is about living.

by Benjamin Allen | Feb 16, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery

There is a difference between moving on and going on. So much of our culture is uncomfortable with pain, and the pain of loss is no different. There is an underlying sentiment in our society that if we ignore it, it doesn’t exist. Loss exists. Loss exists for a long...

Aloneness is an inevitable part of the Afterloss’ landscape.

by Benjamin Allen | Feb 16, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery

There are just some places only you can go. My experience with the parts of my path where I am utterly alone is that it can be a place of great healing and great pain, sometimes at the same time. There are other times when it can be solely the pure pain of vacuous...

Loss is loss

by Benjamin Allen | Feb 16, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery

Everyone goes through loss. It is a part of all of us. Loss, whether it’s a relationship, a job, a dream, a loved one, or anything else takes up all the space one has. I have a friend who just lost his job and it has put a tremendous strain on both he and his wife....

When will the pain ever end?

by Benjamin Allen | Feb 16, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery

There is no simple answer. This isn’t an infomercial exercise program or diet with easy answers and timeframes. This is life lived in the shadow of death. I have yet to experience a step-by-step guide that says, “do this and the pain will go away in just 12 easy...

Memories hurt. Memories heal

by Benjamin Allen | Feb 16, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery

Memories can both heal and hurt. Memories touch me as much as I touch them. Depending on the texture of the touch I can gauge how far my healing has come…and how far my healing has yet to go. In my world of the Afterloss healing has no set pattern, no linear...

Sacred Places and sacred moments

by Benjamin Allen | Feb 16, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery

There are sacred places and sacred moments where life intersects with loss and one meaning expands into another. Half Moon Bay, California is one of my most sacred of places. It was where Lydia and I collected beautiful memories early in our marriage. It was a place...
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