Grief – The Borders of Life and Loss

by Benjamin Allen | Nov 5, 2014 | coping with loss, reflections on grief recovery

Grief lies between the borders of yesterday and today. Loss lives in each moment, but no moment is an island. The life of yesterday shadows today in so many ways, in so many moments…in every way, in every moment. Moments are filled with what was, what is…and what will...

Holidays and Loss

by Benjamin Allen | Nov 5, 2014 | books for grieving parents, reflections on grief recovery

We are on the front end of the holiday trifecta. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years loom on the horizon. For most, it is a festive season. But for those living in loss it is often a difficult season of sorrow and endurance. When Lydia and my first child, Bryan,...

Will somebody just listen?

by Benjamin Allen | Aug 22, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss

The way people deal with loss is so individualized. The way other people respond to those dealing with loss is just as unique. Some people can be there for others. Some can’t. I was speaking with a friend yesterday who is beginning her experience with this particular...

It’s hard to look forward when the past pulls me.

by Benjamin Allen | Aug 20, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss

Anticipation is often colored by what went before, what went before death turned life around, before death turned the future into the past. The world lives in linear time. I live in scenes that swirl between past, present and future. Others look forward to the future,...

I never know. They never know.

by Benjamin Allen | Aug 14, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss

I never know what is really going on inside someone else. And they will never know what is really going on within me. So much of life is lived in disguise. The surface hums along and I hum with it. The subterranean sorrow that lies beneath the surface lives in the...

Robin Williams’ death has brought back a time long ago when he called Matt several times during the last year of Matt’s life.

by Benjamin Allen | Aug 12, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss

Robin was Matt’s favorite comedian and an organization that grants terminally ill children their wishes contacted Robin with Matt’s request to talk to him. Robin agreed with one stipulation. He asked that we not share his kind gesture. We were not close to Robin. And...