by Benjamin Allen | Jul 18, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
I will carry loss the rest of my life. The question is, “How do I choose to carry such loss, and such love, in such a life?” Today, I have been wandering the recesses of my Afterloss with how I carry pain. It has brought me to a place I cannot pass until I deal with...
by Benjamin Allen | Jul 16, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
I hated it when people would say that to me. What does that mean? Is that supposed to be of comfort? Time took the ones I love. Time stole our future. Time took our present. Time haunted my past. “It’s just going to take time.” What else is time going to take? Will...
by Benjamin Allen | Jul 15, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
Trauma strikes and the world I once knew catapults into the unknown and I just do what I have to do. I don’t know how it happens, but I go into remote control. My emotions are put to the side, numbed in their overwhelm. The mind submerges into an emergency state. And...
by Benjamin Allen | Jul 11, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
There is no norm just as there is no normal. Point A no longer goes to Point B. The only path I can go is mine. The pulse of an irregular beat of a broken heart guides the healing of my sorrow. Loss has no formulaic cure. Grief is not something to be cured. Grief is a...
by Benjamin Allen | Jul 8, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
Why do I go into the epicenter of my hurt? What draws me to my sorrow? There was a song I wanted to play at Matt’s funeral. One afternoon, when I thought Matt was asleep, I was sitting on the floor in the living room listening to it. I was crying when Matt came...
by Benjamin Allen | Jul 7, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
Small occurrences, chance occasions, words spoken in passing loom large in my sifting through loss. It is not the big events that pass before me now. What I thought would be memorable moments subside. I seem to gravitate to the serendipitous scenes of simplicity. The...
