The debilitation of physical pain carries many of the same reflections of grief’s pain.

by Benjamin Allen | Aug 7, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss

I have discovered many similarities between physical pain and the pain of loss in these last few weeks. What I have found is I approach pain, no matter what the origin or manifestation, in many of the same ways with the same consequences. These last few weeks I have...

It’s one thing to hurt. It’s another to self-destruct.

by Benjamin Allen | Jul 29, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss

What is the difference between going through the pain of loss and creating pain in the midst of loss? There was a time when I hurt so bad after the death of Bryan that I would have done anything to feel different. It didn’t matter what it was, as long as it was not...

If there are shadows, there must be light somewhere.

by Benjamin Allen | Jul 28, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss

I follow the shadows as much as I follow the light. For it is in the dark places where my light shines brightest. There is nothing darker than loss. The shadows of loss swallow me and I am left adrift in the abyss. Objects beyond reach fill my day with things I have...

Is it life that no longer fits, or is it me?

by Benjamin Allen | Jul 25, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss

Is there a way to separate life from me? Loss from me? Me from me? By the end of the day I am at the end of me. I have spent the day out there longing for respite, just a little peace and quiet. I no longer live with a large amount of reserves. Many days I live on...

We meet again. And again. And again.

by Benjamin Allen | Jul 24, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss

We meet in a song, in an old photograph, a video that moves over and over, again and again. I carry more than your picture. I carry your memory. I carry a moment long ago, just minutes away in this moment. At any moment we meet. I could be walking down the street and...

Recently someone asked for me to address the issue of anger in the grieving process.

by Benjamin Allen | Jul 21, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss

I have written about it in the past, but mostly as it relates to other areas of how I needed to lean into the sorrow to find my way through the day, and into the night, to ready for another day. Also in the request was how children who lose a loved one deal with anger...