by Benjamin Allen | Mar 31, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
When they died, people would come. After the funeral, people would go. In reality, we all come, and we all go. We come together to mourn and our mourning sends us into our own Afterloss. What brings us into our collective sorrow, into our mutual pain, is the same...
by Benjamin Allen | Mar 31, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
She has lived a long life. She is in her 80s. She was with me when Lydia, my wife and her daughter, died. We have shared so many moments of tenderness and loss. Today she is in hospice and time is about to unfold her timelessness. When I found out today, I had two...
by Benjamin Allen | Mar 31, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
When our son was little we used “time out” as a way of discipline. I sure could use a time out today. Matt spent many a moment in that supposed quiet time. If we were trying to correct a behavior, then we would say, “You need a time out. Go over there and think about...
by Benjamin Allen | Mar 24, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
How do you measure a moment? When sorrow seizes life, two of its hostages are tasks and time. There are things that must be done, responsibilities that I needed to complete. In the initial shock of loss, I went on autopilot. I just did them like it was an out of body...
by Benjamin Allen | Mar 24, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
To find healing, I needed to come to a place where I forgave everything, including me. Today, I have no regrets, but it has been an arduous journey to find freedom and healing, to live in forgiveness. Forgiveness, especially self-forgiveness, was a perilous path in my...
by Benjamin Allen | Mar 20, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
Not the time that circles numbers on a clock, but the time that encircles a heart. I needed to walk with my sorrow in my sorrow. I needed to be alone, to be with others and to just be. In my world of the Afterloss, time bends like light bends space. A memory takes...
