by Benjamin Allen | Aug 10, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
Every life and every death is different. I’m coming up to the tenth anniversary of my mother’s death, and the first anniversary of my brother’s. I grieve in relation to how I live, and how we lived. Grief is such a unique experience. There are so many threads that...
by Benjamin Allen | Aug 8, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
She left so much behind. She took so much with her. Before Lydia died she asked me to not let Matt forget her. A child does not forget a mother. Those lives touched by Lydia have not forgotten. Time fades. But memory and meaning interweaves moment and brings color to...
by Benjamin Allen | Aug 7, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
I have discovered many similarities between physical pain and the pain of loss in these last few weeks. What I have found is I approach pain, no matter what the origin or manifestation, in many of the same ways with the same consequences. These last few weeks I have...
by Benjamin Allen | Jul 29, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
What is the difference between going through the pain of loss and creating pain in the midst of loss? There was a time when I hurt so bad after the death of Bryan that I would have done anything to feel different. It didn’t matter what it was, as long as it was not...
by Benjamin Allen | Jul 28, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
I follow the shadows as much as I follow the light. For it is in the dark places where my light shines brightest. There is nothing darker than loss. The shadows of loss swallow me and I am left adrift in the abyss. Objects beyond reach fill my day with things I have...
by Benjamin Allen | Jul 25, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
Is there a way to separate life from me? Loss from me? Me from me? By the end of the day I am at the end of me. I have spent the day out there longing for respite, just a little peace and quiet. I no longer live with a large amount of reserves. Many days I live on...
