by Benjamin Allen | Mar 31, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
When they died, the dream died. I was left with love without a dream. In loss, I found my deepest love had no place go, no embrace, no dream. I dreamed of birthday parties and graduations. Marriages. Grandchildren. Holidays. Laughter. Kisses. Sunsets. Sunrises....
by Benjamin Allen | Mar 31, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
When my heart broke my world shattered. What was once important to me no longer mattered. I questioned everything. I no longer lived by the world’s standards. Everything in my life was re-valued under a different paradigm, a more refined microscope. I asked why and...
by Benjamin Allen | Mar 31, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
When they died, people would come. After the funeral, people would go. In reality, we all come, and we all go. We come together to mourn and our mourning sends us into our own Afterloss. What brings us into our collective sorrow, into our mutual pain, is the same...
by Benjamin Allen | Mar 31, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
She has lived a long life. She is in her 80s. She was with me when Lydia, my wife and her daughter, died. We have shared so many moments of tenderness and loss. Today she is in hospice and time is about to unfold her timelessness. When I found out today, I had two...
by Benjamin Allen | Mar 31, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
When our son was little we used “time out” as a way of discipline. I sure could use a time out today. Matt spent many a moment in that supposed quiet time. If we were trying to correct a behavior, then we would say, “You need a time out. Go over there and think about...
by Benjamin Allen | Mar 24, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
How do you measure a moment? When sorrow seizes life, two of its hostages are tasks and time. There are things that must be done, responsibilities that I needed to complete. In the initial shock of loss, I went on autopilot. I just did them like it was an out of body...
