by Benjamin Allen | May 8, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
She and I share many commonalities, but two of the most familiar on this path are loss and life. I, too, have said on many occasions to other people, “I just don’t think I fit here anymore.” Our conversation was about thirty minutes ago and I’ve been reflecting on...
by Benjamin Allen | May 7, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
I wish there was a roadmap in my Afterloss. I wish I knew what I needed to do when my world first imploded. It would have been nice to know the pain was going to last for a certain amount of time and then it would be okay. From the first moment to this moment I have...
by Benjamin Allen | May 6, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
I sat next Matt in the ICU that night. We lived life in seconds, in short rapid breaths, in love. He held my index finger. He held my heart. And I begged him to hold on. I matched the rapid rhythm of his breath, the short palpitations, the gasping for air. On that...
by Benjamin Allen | May 5, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
When they left a part of me left, too. In loss, I wandered through life wondering what else of me was gone. I have not found anything that replaces what has left and what is left of me today is scattered across the landscape of my Afterloss. I am a puzzle with missing...
by Benjamin Allen | May 4, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
I understood the loss of their touch, the sound of their voice and that deep connection reflected in a smile or a quick glance. But what I did not understand was how death changed every relationship. Death changed me. Death irrevocably changed my world. However, the...
