by Benjamin Allen | May 16, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
There is a residue that resides within me. Memory that has yet to find its way into my past. What I went through is still going through me. When I am in stillness I still feel what was felt years ago as if it was right now. And in that stillness the dust settles...
by Benjamin Allen | May 15, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
It lives in the subterranean world of secret sorrow. While those around me were getting “over it” I was just getting “into it.” There is a difference between grieving in solitude or solitary confinement. Invisible bars surrounded me. I couldn’t get out in my solitary...
by Benjamin Allen | May 14, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
Technically, the term “walkabout” is what the Australian Aborigines youth do as a right of passage. They spend six months immersed in their lineage on a spiritual quest. I use the term walkabout as what I do in my wanderings in the Afterloss. It is a wandering through...
by Benjamin Allen | May 13, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
He did not live to see his first year, but I honor every year on the very first day I held him and the first day he held me. Our dance was so brief, but our song continues. He lived on this earth for eight and a half months and lives in me every day. When Bryan died...
by Benjamin Allen | May 9, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
In the initial shock, I went into remote control just doing the next thing. Holding my child. Making the call to my brother. Calling the hospice nurse. Holding my child. Calling his grandparents. Calling the funeral director. Holding my child. No matter how much...
