by Benjamin Allen | Jul 18, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
I will carry loss the rest of my life. The question is, “How do I choose to carry such loss, and such love, in such a life?” Today, I have been wandering the recesses of my Afterloss with how I carry pain. It has brought me to a place I cannot pass until I deal with...
by Benjamin Allen | Jul 16, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
I hated it when people would say that to me. What does that mean? Is that supposed to be of comfort? Time took the ones I love. Time stole our future. Time took our present. Time haunted my past. “It’s just going to take time.” What else is time going to take? Will...
by Benjamin Allen | Jul 15, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
Trauma strikes and the world I once knew catapults into the unknown and I just do what I have to do. I don’t know how it happens, but I go into remote control. My emotions are put to the side, numbed in their overwhelm. The mind submerges into an emergency state. And...
by Benjamin Allen | Jul 11, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
There is no norm just as there is no normal. Point A no longer goes to Point B. The only path I can go is mine. The pulse of an irregular beat of a broken heart guides the healing of my sorrow. Loss has no formulaic cure. Grief is not something to be cured. Grief is a...
by Benjamin Allen | Jul 8, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery, reintegration after loss
Why do I go into the epicenter of my hurt? What draws me to my sorrow? There was a song I wanted to play at Matt’s funeral. One afternoon, when I thought Matt was asleep, I was sitting on the floor in the living room listening to it. I was crying when Matt came...
