by Benjamin Allen | Feb 16, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery
Memories can both heal and hurt. Memories touch me as much as I touch them. Depending on the texture of the touch I can gauge how far my healing has come…and how far my healing has yet to go. In my world of the Afterloss healing has no set pattern, no linear...
by Benjamin Allen | Feb 16, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery
There are sacred places and sacred moments where life intersects with loss and one meaning expands into another. Half Moon Bay, California is one of my most sacred of places. It was where Lydia and I collected beautiful memories early in our marriage. It was a place...
by Benjamin Allen | Feb 6, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery
In my world of the Afterloss there is this giant mythological creature with two heads called Futility. One head constantly moans “if only” and the other head incessantly cries, “why?” In my first layer of loss Futility stalked me, haunted me and consumed me. Today I...
by Benjamin Allen | Feb 6, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery
“Fear is just an illusion,” he said to me. But when this panic attack hit, the fear sure felt real. I gripped the steering wheel tightly as I drove through rush hour traffic, trying to stay focused on not crashing. I frantically made my way to the shoulder of the...
by Benjamin Allen | Feb 6, 2014 | reflections on grief, reflections on grief recovery
Day before yesterday I experienced the rose ceremony in honor of Bryan. His short life did not carry the many years of memories that Lydia’s and Matt’s do, but there are always enough memories for each petal. I went to a creek that flows into Lake Tahoe. The winter...
